Facebook Etiquette

I come from a conservative family (go figure), where manners were instilled (beaten) into my upbringing from a very young age.  Granted, social media wasn't even invented when I was growing up - but I can't help but feeling that the fundamentals should apply for any forum.

5.  Ultrasound/Sonogram Pics on FB
Hi, new mom? I'm super duper excited that you are having a baby (and so are your other 862 friends online), but do you seriously want your ex-boyfriend, your old high school math teacher, and that new secretary from work looking at pics of your uterus?? Shouldn't some things be left for the fridge? He's jealous and feeling left out. 

4. Inside Jokes
I don't even need to expand on this one.. (right Amanda?? PS, bunnies on the ceiling! LOL!!)

3. Dark and Ominous/Incredibly Vague Status Updates
People who post the most vague status updates, just begging for people to ask questions.

Jenny's status update: OMG worst day ever! I am so upset! This is the worst! I can't believe this is all happening to me!

Friend #1: Oh my word, Jenny! Are you okay? What's wrong?

Jenny: Nothing.

Friend #1: Are you sure?

Jenny: I don't want to talk about it!

Friend #1: Well, if you need me, I'm just a text away.

Jenny: No thanks. People know what they did to make me feel this way. IT'S HIS LOSS ANYWAYS.

My personal favourite is, "I'm just so over it." OVER WHAT? Get a diary you pansy.

2.  Using "bestfriend" as one word.
If you can read this, do the world a favor and grab a dictionary.  Go hunting under "B" (hint: it's right after "A").... IT'S TWO WORDS.  Let's expand this exercise and try it in other contexts.  Oldfriends. Newfriends. Facebookfriends.  It doesn't work.

1.  Spoiler Alert Updates.
The Vampire Diaries season finale ended 45 seconds ago.  It's PVR'd and I haven't even gotten through the opening credits.  One accidental glance at my news feed and I find out Elena becomes a vamp at the end.  This applies to movies/championship games as well.  That means you, NHL playoffs.

Home of the free - Land of the brave

I watch CNN while I do cardio at the gym. Their lefty views fuel my pulse, contributing to calorie burn.

Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, (or a Canadian who wishes she had a green card) you cannot disagree with very heartfelt words from Senator John McCain regarding America's potential to strike against Syria.  Watch by clicking on the following link:

SEN. JOHN MCCAIN TALKS TO ANDERSON COOPER ON ASSAD TAKEDOWN

Don't get me started

The milk game. 

Living in a 900-sq-ft house with seven people is enough to drive anybody nutty, and the waxy icing on this store-bought discount cake that is my life, is the many idiosyncrasies that lead to me reaffirm my belief in sterilization. (Male and female - laziness doesn't discriminate).  I am lucky enough to be a Manitoba farm girl, which means that even when faced with a less-than-ideal circumstance, I choose to look on the bright side and make the best of things.  I'm fine, really. I can haul the garbage to the dump, take out the recycling, clean the shitty toilet, change my own shorting-out taillights, etc.  All I ask of you, darling roommates, is to extend a little consideration toward your fellow man. (I realize I lost this battle with the cleaning of the shitty toilet). Now the milk game definitely includes, but is not limited to, milk.

The milk jug sits on the top shelf of the fridge and the increments by which it is consumed, haunt me. Basic rule of humanity: you finish it, you replace it.  This fundamental rule extends to other household items such as coffee beans, toilet paper, and dishwasher detergent.  In this house, we play dirty and down to the wire. If I enjoy a bowl of cereal on Tuesday morning using a new jug of milk, you can bet by Tuesday night, the boys that I babysit live with have consumed all but (ballpark) an inch of milk left in the jug. By Wednesday morning, the levels have sunk to a mere half inch.  I am taken aback. How? Who consumes half an inch worth of milk?  Who is desperate enough to exhaust mere drops, but yet so lazy as to deposit the dregs back into the fridge for fear of having to replace the 4L jug?  And so, on Wednesday night when I come home from work and want breakfast for dinner, I'm the fool who has to replenish the rations because the quarter-inch puddle left in the plastic jug won't suffice for making pancakes.  After I use my extremely humble cup of milk for my extremely humble batch of pancakes on Wednesday night, I have barely left a mark in the newly purchased provisions.  Thursday morning when I reach into the fridge to grab the milk jug for my cereal - I am surprised that the jug seems so light to the touch and that's when I realize that there's an inch of milk left. There it is, do you feel that? The root of my brimming frustration? I think God is trying to teach me patience.

Getting lost in the Emerald City

Please be enlightened; wisdom will always come at a cost - perhaps trivial - but nonetheless. We all crave adventure and yet are so wistful and reluctant to sacrifice anything in return for said thrill. Six months ago, I packed up my truck and moved to the north (read: the stupid Yukon) to conquer my fears and seek this alleged adventure. That really looks quite nice on paper, doesn't it?  Northern life has completely reset my perspective and breathed new life into my appetite for all things southern Manitoba.  Sure, the great state province of MB is run by socialists and anarchists, and doesn't have nearly enough rednecks - but it is home, sweeeeet, home.  I am all for following the yellow brick road.  Just don't go seeking Eden when it's really in your backyard.  Basically I'm just wicked homesick.  Somebody get me a pair of those red shoes...

This is not an advisory warning; some people spend their whole lives traveling, searching; chasing whimsy.  I'm simply advocating an idea that lies somewhere between go for broke and life is so much bigger than this moment.  Both are true.  Finding a balance is just borderline insanity.